In the arms of the angels....

My latest "thing" is to try alternative healing and therapies.  Starting with the "As" I have given Angelic Therapy and Ayurvedic healing a go.

I have to admit my friends (and myself) raised a metaphorical eyebrow in respect to the former and one colleague described the ayurvedic visit as a "trip to see the witch doctor".  However I was not to be steered off my alternative course by such cynicism!

You see I have tried conventional medicine and therapy (formal doctor therapy and er, moaning to my friends) but at 40 I don't want to stuff myself full of pills when I may not need to and to be frank with therapy, well not only can you lie to yourself and to your friends but it turns out to your therapist too...."i'm fine....."*

*goes home, sobs at sentimental adverts, eats biscuits...

So why chose angelic therapy and ayurveda, other than them being the top of the list I looked at?  In the case of ayurveda it was an easy choice as it is the sister science to yoga (one of my obsessions) and I kind of like the idea of being able to re-balance oneself through routine and food choices (that are not too restrictive) getting back closer to a natural state before stress ruined our lives!  With the angles, I honestly just thought what harm can it do!???  Also, if this communing with angels is real, it was highly unlikely I could lie and get away with it!

What were the results?

Angels: over the years I have certainly developed quite a sturdy defence mechanism so that I appear pretty hard and independent and impervious however, as my best friend says, really I am total mush on the inside.  Whilst that sturdy defence has served me well, I knew that the approach to 40 was the time to re-set and re-discover my more happy go lucky side.  So my aim with the angels was to try and get some guidance as to how, some reassurance I suppose.  The therapist I saw, Dawn, is quite possibly one of the most pure and wonderful human beings in the world.  Any cynicism I had melted away on that first meeting as did my defences so it was win win from the start.  I know it sounds very new age and like I have been smoking but Dawn just knew "stuff".  We talked lots in the sessions, she let me know what she was seeing and what messages they had.  It was all pretty comforting.  We also did some healing work.  Again the cynics will raise the eyebrows but at one point the heat that was being generated through my body was bonkers and I thought things had gone awry when I thought Dawn was pulling up the waistband of my jeans....she wasn't of course it was all  a release of tension and my god was it cleansing.  After 6 sessions I felt re-set and positive and ready for.....

Ayurveda:  as mentioned this is the sister science of yoga and basically via a consultation with an ayurvedic doctor, where they take your pulse, your "dosha" (body type) is determined and from that lifestyle/routine/eating recommendations are made.  Again the accuracy of this, from a pulse and no medical history being exchanged, was incredible.  Jono (my doc) diagnosed my migraines, endometriosis and my hypothyroidism: you got to love the ageing process....From this I am following a two month re-setting diet and taking herbal supplements.  From there I will do a one week cleanse where I only eat mung bean soup (I will be staying home and not seeing anyone during this week) and then I implement longer term routine/change etc.  So far after one month I have bags more energy, I am sleeping better and even with my Christmas diet of chocolate, bread and wine I have managed to lose 4kg!

So to sum up, it might all seem a bit hocus pocus but from where I am sitting (my sofa obvs) I am thinking "winner winner chicken dinner"....

Contentment - its tricky

As I get older it occurs to me that I am not terribly settled and I am always on the look out for the "next thing".  It got me thinking about "contentment" and what that means.

To be content: desiring no more than one has

Plunging into the dictionary I found the following definitions:

"the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity"

"in a state of peaceful happiness"

"a state of satisfaction"

"desiring no more than what one has"

Oh crap I think looking at those definitions, I don't think I have ever been "content".  Even my theme for the run up to 40 reeks of discontent.  I am "to do 40 new things by the time I am 40":  so rather than make a list of everything I have achieved, I want to discount that and do new things!  I want to punch myself.

So by doing this, it occurs to me that I must feel that I am missing something or maybe trying to fill an emptiness in me or avoid a fear.  If this is the case then I am definitely missing out on what is right in front of me?

SO, now is the time to write my list of things that I have that make me smile and think "ahhhh, life is good":

• A wonderful (soon to be) 10 year old niece 
• A loving and close family
• My own home
• Independence
• A rather wonderful man who I j'adore and who I am pretty sure j'adores me
• Amazing friends who are there through the laughter and the tears (sometimes the tears of laughter)
• I have seen the world
• I love my job
• I have my health
• An AMAZING shoe collection
• And you know the sun, the stars, nature, blue skies....

Pretty aces.  But there are still places I want to travel too and things I would like to own etc.  So even after my self reflection, am I still a discontented moron?

And then I read in a book by Pema Chodron of a meeting she had with a Native American who was in New York to deliver a series of lectures.  She was surprised that he seemed so at ease in such a busy city and asked him how he achieved this.  His answer was simple:

"my life has taught me to be more curious than afraid"

Phew!  I am like that Native American, I "more curious".  It is not discontentment that drives me but an innate curiosity about life and what it holds and what can be discovered.  Hoooray!*

*curiosity/nosey - same thing... :)