My name is Cassie and I am a beauty addict.......it feels good to admit it. I certainly cannot ignore it with a dwindling bank balance and bulging bathroom cabinet.....
As with most women my age I was introduced to beauty via the Clinique 3 step programme. Who can forget that yellow soap in the green soap tray, the (what felt like) pure ethanol toner, and the yellow paste (I mean moisturiser). My face went through various shades of red during the three steps and ended in an oil slick but this did not deter me. I knew "products" made my soul sing.
I, obviously, moved on quickly from the "3-step" and embraced new brands. Now as a teenager my scope was limited growing up in a village in the Midlands and then going to University in St Andrews: shops were limited to say the least. However, my early years introduced me to one of my long time loves: Aveda. Ahhhhh, Aveda with its Pure-Fume goodness. The Botanical Kinetics range is like the "3-step" on natural steroids.
Then I moved to London and oh the beauty goodness that lay before me in the form of the department stores (this was before they opened SpaceNk!). My first new foray was to Clarins which I used in the first 4 months of living in London. That flat I lived in was dreadful. My room was pokey and small with a single bed and a shelf (yet I somehow paid as much as the other girls who had lovely large rooms with bay windows, wardrobes, drawers and double beds) and the bathroom was far from clean (the girls I lived with had questionable attitudes to basic hygiene and I think believed that bathrooms were self cleansing....) and horror or horrors had a very old and discoloured carpet. Whilst I loved my Clarins products I will always associate them with that flat and once they had ran out, and I had moved out, I never purchased again.
So onwards I went to West London and in a bid to save money (I had had to double up on rent) I switched to cheaper brands: Nivea and Simple. Loved them both. At this time SpaceNK opened near where I worked, though at this point my SpaceNK devotion it was all about the make-up and not skincare for me.
I then became a skin care tart and switched brands as regularly as my knickers (well sort of, you know what I mean). I have a slight genetic flaw in as much as I cannot buy on product in a range, I have to get EVERYTHING so when I go through "the change" I really invest. I flirted with Eve Lom, Sisley, Chantecaille, Shiseido, Nude and the Organic Pharmacy.
I was ready to form a monogamous relationship with the Organic Pharmacy and then I discovered beauty blogs. Oh dear! 2016 has been an expensive year and I have tried a landslide of serums, cleansers, you name it! Emma Hardie, Zelens, Radical, Bakel, Kat Burki, Colbert MD, Tata Harper, Sunday Riley, Caudalie, VenEffect, Pixi, May Lindstrom...the list seems almost endless.....
Some of the above were very expensive mistakes and a couple of friends have been the beneficiaries of my offloading product. Most have been okay or good, though in some cases quite hard to justify the price tag. I think I am going to write some "reviews" as it might be fun.
And the conclusion of all this, well I think I might be ready to go steady*.....I went back to the Organic Pharmacy for a facial in April and after coming out looking radiant I decided I needed to go back to natural and organic skincare. No regrets, not one blemish have I had in months, my skin is hydrated and I don't look too bad for 41 plus.
*I say this but I may have just put in an order for some Aurelia Probiotic skincare, for when I am at home in the Midlands you understand, so technically this is not "cheating"....
Friday, 15 July 2016
Thursday, 14 January 2016
In the arms of the angels....
My latest "thing" is to try alternative healing and therapies. Starting with the "As" I have given Angelic Therapy and Ayurvedic healing a go.
I have to admit my friends (and myself) raised a metaphorical eyebrow in respect to the former and one colleague described the ayurvedic visit as a "trip to see the witch doctor". However I was not to be steered off my alternative course by such cynicism!
You see I have tried conventional medicine and therapy (formal doctor therapy and er, moaning to my friends) but at 40 I don't want to stuff myself full of pills when I may not need to and to be frank with therapy, well not only can you lie to yourself and to your friends but it turns out to your therapist too...."i'm fine....."*
*goes home, sobs at sentimental adverts, eats biscuits...
So why chose angelic therapy and ayurveda, other than them being the top of the list I looked at? In the case of ayurveda it was an easy choice as it is the sister science to yoga (one of my obsessions) and I kind of like the idea of being able to re-balance oneself through routine and food choices (that are not too restrictive) getting back closer to a natural state before stress ruined our lives! With the angles, I honestly just thought what harm can it do!??? Also, if this communing with angels is real, it was highly unlikely I could lie and get away with it!
What were the results?
Angels: over the years I have certainly developed quite a sturdy defence mechanism so that I appear pretty hard and independent and impervious however, as my best friend says, really I am total mush on the inside. Whilst that sturdy defence has served me well, I knew that the approach to 40 was the time to re-set and re-discover my more happy go lucky side. So my aim with the angels was to try and get some guidance as to how, some reassurance I suppose. The therapist I saw, Dawn, is quite possibly one of the most pure and wonderful human beings in the world. Any cynicism I had melted away on that first meeting as did my defences so it was win win from the start. I know it sounds very new age and like I have been smoking but Dawn just knew "stuff". We talked lots in the sessions, she let me know what she was seeing and what messages they had. It was all pretty comforting. We also did some healing work. Again the cynics will raise the eyebrows but at one point the heat that was being generated through my body was bonkers and I thought things had gone awry when I thought Dawn was pulling up the waistband of my jeans....she wasn't of course it was all a release of tension and my god was it cleansing. After 6 sessions I felt re-set and positive and ready for.....
Ayurveda: as mentioned this is the sister science of yoga and basically via a consultation with an ayurvedic doctor, where they take your pulse, your "dosha" (body type) is determined and from that lifestyle/routine/eating recommendations are made. Again the accuracy of this, from a pulse and no medical history being exchanged, was incredible. Jono (my doc) diagnosed my migraines, endometriosis and my hypothyroidism: you got to love the ageing process....From this I am following a two month re-setting diet and taking herbal supplements. From there I will do a one week cleanse where I only eat mung bean soup (I will be staying home and not seeing anyone during this week) and then I implement longer term routine/change etc. So far after one month I have bags more energy, I am sleeping better and even with my Christmas diet of chocolate, bread and wine I have managed to lose 4kg!
So to sum up, it might all seem a bit hocus pocus but from where I am sitting (my sofa obvs) I am thinking "winner winner chicken dinner"....
I have to admit my friends (and myself) raised a metaphorical eyebrow in respect to the former and one colleague described the ayurvedic visit as a "trip to see the witch doctor". However I was not to be steered off my alternative course by such cynicism!
You see I have tried conventional medicine and therapy (formal doctor therapy and er, moaning to my friends) but at 40 I don't want to stuff myself full of pills when I may not need to and to be frank with therapy, well not only can you lie to yourself and to your friends but it turns out to your therapist too...."i'm fine....."*
*goes home, sobs at sentimental adverts, eats biscuits...
So why chose angelic therapy and ayurveda, other than them being the top of the list I looked at? In the case of ayurveda it was an easy choice as it is the sister science to yoga (one of my obsessions) and I kind of like the idea of being able to re-balance oneself through routine and food choices (that are not too restrictive) getting back closer to a natural state before stress ruined our lives! With the angles, I honestly just thought what harm can it do!??? Also, if this communing with angels is real, it was highly unlikely I could lie and get away with it!
What were the results?
Angels: over the years I have certainly developed quite a sturdy defence mechanism so that I appear pretty hard and independent and impervious however, as my best friend says, really I am total mush on the inside. Whilst that sturdy defence has served me well, I knew that the approach to 40 was the time to re-set and re-discover my more happy go lucky side. So my aim with the angels was to try and get some guidance as to how, some reassurance I suppose. The therapist I saw, Dawn, is quite possibly one of the most pure and wonderful human beings in the world. Any cynicism I had melted away on that first meeting as did my defences so it was win win from the start. I know it sounds very new age and like I have been smoking but Dawn just knew "stuff". We talked lots in the sessions, she let me know what she was seeing and what messages they had. It was all pretty comforting. We also did some healing work. Again the cynics will raise the eyebrows but at one point the heat that was being generated through my body was bonkers and I thought things had gone awry when I thought Dawn was pulling up the waistband of my jeans....she wasn't of course it was all a release of tension and my god was it cleansing. After 6 sessions I felt re-set and positive and ready for.....
Ayurveda: as mentioned this is the sister science of yoga and basically via a consultation with an ayurvedic doctor, where they take your pulse, your "dosha" (body type) is determined and from that lifestyle/routine/eating recommendations are made. Again the accuracy of this, from a pulse and no medical history being exchanged, was incredible. Jono (my doc) diagnosed my migraines, endometriosis and my hypothyroidism: you got to love the ageing process....From this I am following a two month re-setting diet and taking herbal supplements. From there I will do a one week cleanse where I only eat mung bean soup (I will be staying home and not seeing anyone during this week) and then I implement longer term routine/change etc. So far after one month I have bags more energy, I am sleeping better and even with my Christmas diet of chocolate, bread and wine I have managed to lose 4kg!
So to sum up, it might all seem a bit hocus pocus but from where I am sitting (my sofa obvs) I am thinking "winner winner chicken dinner"....
Sunday, 20 July 2014
Our busy thoughts hide our broken hearts, a wise yoga teacher once said
So in my last post I wrote about contentment and my striving for new experiences. I wondered what I was missing right in front of my nose. It turns out I have a lot of wonderful things in my life and I am content though still curious about life.
I also mused that maybe my striving or "drive" came from a desire to fill emptiness and/or to avoid fear. I did not explore this further, but I thought it was maybe time to take a look at this.
I do a lot of yoga and recently I went on a retreat to Turkey. During one of the meditation sessions our teacher opined that many of us meditate in the hope that we can clear our mind of thought, but that this was not the true aim of meditation. What meditation enables us to do is hear what is behind our thoughts so that we can start to listen to our hearts. She beautifully summed up by saying "our busy thoughts hide our broken hearts".
And that really sums up why I am so driven. Like a lot of people my age, my heart has been broken a fair few times (not just boys, other yuk stuff too) but like a true Brit one has soldiered on. So really is it the case that the constant busyness and apparent "lack" of contentment is actually a band aid? If I am busy I do not really have the time to consider the sadness and really who wants to consider the sadness, that way leads to tears and the FEAR.
But on reflection, maybe that will be a good thing. After all, its 40 new things before I turn 40, so I figure that maybe now is as good a time as any to start to face the FEAR. It is all about balance (or re-balance).
So to that end I have downloaded a meditation app which concentrates on meditations of the chakras. I will start with Anahata, the heart chakra.
It means "unhurt".
Note: amusingly I played such app to myself on the London Euston to Stafford train but forgot to plug in my headphones and therefore cleansed the heart chakra of 1.07....I think the fellow passengers were quite grateful really.....*
*some moved carriages muttering "weirdo" but you cannot win them all....
I also mused that maybe my striving or "drive" came from a desire to fill emptiness and/or to avoid fear. I did not explore this further, but I thought it was maybe time to take a look at this.
I do a lot of yoga and recently I went on a retreat to Turkey. During one of the meditation sessions our teacher opined that many of us meditate in the hope that we can clear our mind of thought, but that this was not the true aim of meditation. What meditation enables us to do is hear what is behind our thoughts so that we can start to listen to our hearts. She beautifully summed up by saying "our busy thoughts hide our broken hearts".
And that really sums up why I am so driven. Like a lot of people my age, my heart has been broken a fair few times (not just boys, other yuk stuff too) but like a true Brit one has soldiered on. So really is it the case that the constant busyness and apparent "lack" of contentment is actually a band aid? If I am busy I do not really have the time to consider the sadness and really who wants to consider the sadness, that way leads to tears and the FEAR.
But on reflection, maybe that will be a good thing. After all, its 40 new things before I turn 40, so I figure that maybe now is as good a time as any to start to face the FEAR. It is all about balance (or re-balance).
So to that end I have downloaded a meditation app which concentrates on meditations of the chakras. I will start with Anahata, the heart chakra.
It means "unhurt".
Note: amusingly I played such app to myself on the London Euston to Stafford train but forgot to plug in my headphones and therefore cleansed the heart chakra of 1.07....I think the fellow passengers were quite grateful really.....*
*some moved carriages muttering "weirdo" but you cannot win them all....
Contentment - its tricky
As I get older it occurs to me that I am not terribly settled and I am always on the look out for the "next thing". It got me thinking about "contentment" and what that means.
Plunging into the dictionary I found the following definitions:
"the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity"
"in a state of peaceful happiness"
"a state of satisfaction"
"desiring no more than what one has"
Oh crap I think looking at those definitions, I don't think I have ever been "content". Even my theme for the run up to 40 reeks of discontent. I am "to do 40 new things by the time I am 40": so rather than make a list of everything I have achieved, I want to discount that and do new things! I want to punch myself.
So by doing this, it occurs to me that I must feel that I am missing something or maybe trying to fill an emptiness in me or avoid a fear. If this is the case then I am definitely missing out on what is right in front of me?
SO, now is the time to write my list of things that I have that make me smile and think "ahhhh, life is good":
And then I read in a book by Pema Chodron of a meeting she had with a Native American who was in New York to deliver a series of lectures. She was surprised that he seemed so at ease in such a busy city and asked him how he achieved this. His answer was simple:
"my life has taught me to be more curious than afraid"
Phew! I am like that Native American, I "more curious". It is not discontentment that drives me but an innate curiosity about life and what it holds and what can be discovered. Hoooray!*
*curiosity/nosey - same thing... :)
 |
| To be content: desiring no more than one has |
Plunging into the dictionary I found the following definitions:
"the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity"
"in a state of peaceful happiness"
"a state of satisfaction"
"desiring no more than what one has"
Oh crap I think looking at those definitions, I don't think I have ever been "content". Even my theme for the run up to 40 reeks of discontent. I am "to do 40 new things by the time I am 40": so rather than make a list of everything I have achieved, I want to discount that and do new things! I want to punch myself.
So by doing this, it occurs to me that I must feel that I am missing something or maybe trying to fill an emptiness in me or avoid a fear. If this is the case then I am definitely missing out on what is right in front of me?
SO, now is the time to write my list of things that I have that make me smile and think "ahhhh, life is good":
- A wonderful (soon to be) 10 year old niece
- A loving and close family
- My own home
- Independence
- A rather wonderful man who I j'adore and who I am pretty sure j'adores me
- Amazing friends who are there through the laughter and the tears (sometimes the tears of laughter)
- I have seen the world
- I love my job
- I have my health
- An AMAZING shoe collection
- And you know the sun, the stars, nature, blue skies....
And then I read in a book by Pema Chodron of a meeting she had with a Native American who was in New York to deliver a series of lectures. She was surprised that he seemed so at ease in such a busy city and asked him how he achieved this. His answer was simple:
"my life has taught me to be more curious than afraid"
Phew! I am like that Native American, I "more curious". It is not discontentment that drives me but an innate curiosity about life and what it holds and what can be discovered. Hoooray!*
*curiosity/nosey - same thing... :)
Friday, 23 August 2013
So this is blogging....
As I am turning 40 in a years time I set myself a challenge of doing 40 new things by the time I am 40. One of those things was to "write a blog".
Now, I am still a little bit unsure as to what format or topics this is going to cover, and in all honesty I suspect it will be random musings but at least I will be doing "something new".
Until the next time (i.e. when I can think of something interesting to write about).
Cambo x
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